Introspective Telescope (Psalm 51:17)

Lately, as you've most likely read in my previous posts, I've been digging through a lot of pain recently from the past (for some reason that makes me sound old...). I've been really busy though this weekend though and haven't really had much time to get away and do much writing. So I've kinda put it back in the closet for a while, but it keeps coming back over and over again. It won't seem to go away, and that is just it, it will not go away...not on its own. Wounds to our spirit, unlike wounds to our body, will never heal on their own. They may stop hurting, true, they may not be seen to the naked eye, undoubtably,  but they are always there none the less. I have found in my very short time so far on this earth that there is nothing that I, or anyone else can do to heal me. A girl might make it feel better, distractions may take away the pain, but I cannot do anything to heal it. Below is all that I have been feeling, and all the weight on my heart poeticized (is that even a word?). There is so much more on this subject in my life, but all will come out in time.


Hope as scarce as diamonds
A torn and revenged mine
Lost in its darkness
Trapped in my mind
I cry, “father save me!”
“Can’t you see my fear?”
Peeling jolts of thunder
Heavy draining tears
Eclipsed by driving pain
Darkness in the sun
I felt no arm around me
No beating heart but one

In my bones, a hollow
Attracting draft and frost
Words like arrows sting
Echo what I’ve lost

Apart from distant memory
No bowl to catch blood
In this cave, a rustle
From trickle to a flood
To the naked eye, peace
Silence will deceive
When set to ponder wounds
Pains are retrieved
Inside my chest a hole
The size of a heart
Where has gone the strength?
Has all begun to part?
Peering with a flashlight
Seeking parts within
Introspective telescope
Eager eye to lend

Shivering in darkness
Warmth of once is lost
You won’t leave my broken heart
No matter what the cost


2 comments:

Lolai said...

It does help to write things down, I think. Keep it up.

Christopher said...

Heya Laura, how are you? Haven't talked to you in FOREVER! Yes, it does indeed. I've found that it is such a relief and a sanctuary almost for me to write everything out. It is one of the many things God has put in my life to bless me :)