Better Than A Hallelujah

Sometime yesterday, I had an idea for a song about praise that I wanted to write. It was going to talk about how sometimes the cry of a broken heart is truer that upraised hands, but the words would not come out. So I do what I usually do at times like this, which is to just sit on it for a while and keep it in the back of my mind until (or if) I get any inspiration. I had just about forgotten about the whole idea when I opened iTunes and saw a new album by Amy Grant (I'm not a huge fan, but I was interested to know that she was still going). The name of the song was "better than a hallelujah", which I didn't find marveling until I listened to the lyrics:

God loves a lullaby

In a mothers tears in the dead of night

Better than a Hallelujah sometimes.

God loves the drunkards cry,

The soldiers plea not to let him die

Better than a Hallelujah sometimes.

We pour out our miseries

God just hears a melody

Beautiful the mess we are

The honest cries of breaking hearts

Are better than a Hallelujah.

The woman holding on for life,

The dying man giving up the fight

Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes

The tears of shame for what's been done,

The silence when the words won't come

Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes.

Better than a church bell ringing,

Better than a choir singing out, singing out.

I really don't know what to take from this, except that God is showing me something, but then again, I only found the song three minutes ago, so I might find more later. 

Praise

Praise is easily done on a bright day when the sun is shining and smiles come easily, at a time when you haven't a care in the world; who can deny that? Praise at its greatest is when you are at your least, when the blinds are closed and rain falls as the tears from your face. To lift your eyes to your father and seek hope in this time, knowing that He will save you even as all falls in around you, that is praise.

A Broken Hymn

A broken hymn from a broken man

I came to know you by your silent hand

When words could not come out

I sat alone, a weary shout

When will the sunshine light my face

I feel alone in this human race

All broken things must have their place

So here I lie, a broken vase

Sent to a desert with no sand

Yet all the same a parched and thirsty land

Sent out for work I cannot see

Chained to a God to be set free

When will the sunshine light my face

I feel alone in this human race

All broken things must have their place

So here I lie, a broken vase

On the mountainside a fire burns

Once to see its light never to return

Now lost to find my way back home

Silence shows I am not alone

Here comes the sunshine on my face

held apart from this human race

broken clay left in my place

set to look upon your face

On The Move

Wrong will be right, when Aslan comes in sight,

At the sound of his roar, sorrows will be no more,

When he bares his teeth, winter meets its death

And when he shakes his mane, we shall have spring again.

 ~C.S. Lewis, "the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe"~

Aslan is on the move...

"Remember Alice, the Vorpal Blade knows what it wants to do, you just have to hold on tight." -the Mad Hatter, Alice in Wonderland-

Breathe...

If you are reading this post and hoping to find some point at the end, then just don't even read this. Most of the time, this blog is just for my own good anyway.
I really needed to unplug somehow tonight, so I figured I would just write up a blog post. I usually go get coffee (or tea, seeing as I'm not having coffee for lent) when I feel like this, but time is my worst enemy's second cousin's brother-in-law (translation: I have no time). I have so much that I need to be doing right now, from preparing for the talent show on Thursday night to practicing my lines/songs for "You're A Good Man Charlie Brown" to doing my Algebra 2 Homework. I really need to just sit back and look at everything, take a deep breath, and then just take it one step at a time.
Another pressing matter is one that has been on my heart for the last several months. It is almost a vision I guess that you could say about having a group of teenagers that meets and talks and pursues God and throws ideas and thoughts around. Maybe not even a bible study, but something along those lines. I think that something like this is so needed in this generation simply because opening up your heart is a very rare occurrence at this age when it is needed so badly. I have a calling to broken hearts, to those who do not have the strength to stand. That is what brings me alive and where I find God's strength in me, so naturally I want to serve Him in this way. I have prayed for a fellowship of hearts such as this for so long, and I feel that God is moving me towards it, but frankly, I am scared. I am definitely a person who likes to have a plan to some degree and have a general understanding of the way things will turn out, so stepping out like this is a hard thing to do for me. I feel like moses in the desert when he hears a call from the Lord to go and save the people of Isreal. God tells him to simply 'go', he does not say what he should do or how he should do it, but that he should just do it. I do trust God with my life, but something about this is scary to me and quite unnerving.
Well, that's out now. So if you've made to the end of this post, I would just ask that you would pray for me, that I would have the courage to step forward and a peace in my heart.

Fear

Through the day a shadow
Away from view of light
Dark side of the moon
A face of purest white
Silently to kill
To keep a heart at bay
Fear will take a mind
And tell it where to stay

Pulled to Sea

Whisper sent form hallowed shore
Ancient breath of love and lore
In the tongue a silent hope
Gathers near an ancient rope

Hung from stars to sea-bound men
Plucked from foxhole, cave, and glen
Break from clay, a foolish turn
To quench the thirsting heart of yearn

Beyond the grasp of mortal man
Knows no end, yet here it stand
Endless beacon by a name
Reputation: human bane

Cursed crucible remain
Tattered tie in blood is stained

Open Heart

What I find in silence
What I wish to hide
All things inside me
I bear upon my side
Weight upon my chest
To smell the morning air
God, you give us breath
Be my taste of air
If all I have is broken
Nothing left remains
Pride left within me
Taken in the rain
To face another day
Alone in my heart
Echoed doubts control
Emptiness apart
Carried down a face
This river, all I hope
One day ocean sea
Survival rests on hope
Open heart attracts love
You find a broken soul
In the pain of sorrow
Fill an empty hole
Death before extinction
My heart will not go out
Attack me all you may
I will not burn out